Orgy

I have a story of such unremitting cosmic horror and eldritch terror to tell you, that I think it should come with a warning. So you have been warned, I am warning you that this is my final warning!

It all began on dark, dark, dark night as I was cycling my fear-struck way down the canal path. There is a place of silent trees in a ancient hollow which lies to the side of a very remote part of the canal. In the middle of this disquieting glade is a twisted undead thing that I call The  Tree of Ultimate Cweepiness. During the summer months the hollow was full of lovely singing and skipping little Crusty Juggler children. There was an old tyre tied to a rope, which in turn was tied to a thick, twisted branch of The Tree of Ultimate Cweepiness, that the joyous mini-scroungers swung about on. It was now depths of winter, and no children ran and called, the tyre had gone, and only the rope, frayed and menacing, swung in the frozen, thick air, like, a, forgotten, hangman's, noose.


Hold on, need a breather before I go on to the next bit, I'm getting scared.


Ok that's better.


On this fateful night I was approaching the hollow when a strange chattering and screeching came drifting towards me on the black mist. Suddenly I drew up to the place where you can look down on the foul clearing from the canal path and an indescribable scene met my eyes that I will now describe. I tried to peer through the inky dark, I could see small shapes moving, swaying but couldn't make out what they were. I quickly swivelled the front of my top-of-the-range Kalkhoff pedelec bike around to shine my £300 Hope Vision4 light down into that pit of hellish hellishness.


Countless Squirrels filled the hollow, they writhed and danced in an orgy of wanton abandon, their little clawed paws raised in unholy praise of some demented squirrel god, their bushy tails shaking to the rhythm their squeaky chanting.  At the centre of the hollow, just in front of the gnarled tree, now looking like the skeletal hand of some vast beast thrusting out of the earth, was another larger squirrel. it was waving it paws over something that was lying on a large flat stone that I had never noticed before.


The thing on the slab was flat and a dark road grey. Two hideously malformed arms stretched up from it, and a grotesque squirrel head, twisted in frozen agony gaped open-mouthed in my direction. As the chattering and screeching reached a deafening level I saw, to my utter horror, fear and despair, the corpse of Flatso start to quiver and move! (for it was he, see some earlier gibberish blog entry for his story) His venomous eyes locked to mine and his putrid, stringy yellow jaws let go a scream that came straight from the pits of damnedest hell!


My view of this monstrous scene only lasted a few short seconds, seconds burned into my mind forever that no amount of counselling or booze or crazy destructive sex would ever erase from my memories. Suddenly my light was extinguished somehow and the I heard strange calls in the utter darkness and the scurrying of many tiny evil feet.


In my panic I scrabbled pathetically to find the on switch for my light. When I did and the light shone forth again, the hollow had cleared, even the stone slab was empty and a silence like none I had ever heard (unless you count the gaps between songs at the gigs for all the bands I have ever been in) descended on me, like the hand of a giant silent thing. 


I will never venture that way again, unless in day light, and I will be sure never to find myself alone with a squirrel nearby.
For in Flatso's hideous scream I'm sure there had been words too, "Nuts so fast, human...Aiiee!...safety first...f-tang f-tang!..take it easy on them roads...whhaaa!...why can't I feel my nuts?...shai-yai!...Squirrelthulu will rise...Whhhaaaarrrg Aiiii-shubbnug f-tang!"

RECONSTRUCTION: A scene of debauched horror, with fluffy tails.