It all started one cold clear winter night as I was travelling home along the A36. It can be an enclosed and lonely place if you are riding on your own (even on an incredible bike like mine), and this night seemed to have loneliness in buckets, buckets that were being filled to the brim and then emptied into a swimming pool of full despair and solitude. I hadn't seen or heard another living thingy, or been passed by a autocar for about five minutes when I came to a very straight part of the road that runs through an ancient, densely wooded area of the landscape.
Ahead, I saw something that made me question my own sanity: racing towards me, spanning the whole width of the road were four very bright lights, flying, only a foot or so off the ground, in some sort of close formation. What the hell were they? In seconds they would be on me, so I had to think fast. I pulled over as quickly as I could to the side of the road and almost fell to the verge for cover. The lights whooshed past me, a rush of dirty air filling my terrified lungs.
How can I describe the sound they made? It was like the roaring of a mechanical tiger mixed with the honking of an enormous robot goose. I was filled with horror, fear and despair as I saw that the first four lights were being closely followed by a set of four red lights!
Then something happened that will live with me forever and will make me wonder if we are really alone here, is there intelligent life out there anywhere in our galaxy or on our roads? The red lights suddenly split into two pairs and the pair nearest to me incredibly increased in speed and overtook the other set of red lights!
Almost as suddenly as they had appeared the light vanished around the corner and I was left alone again to my racing thoughts. I had definitely seen something out of the ordinary, and for now I had now other explanation for it, other than it was a low flying UFO or something odd and unexplainable, and that it had just had a very close encounter with me!
"Why would they travel all the way across the vastness of space just to run you off the road, you sick, paranoid lunatic? Have you stopped taking your medication again?" you may scream across the living room at me, but I think the evidence speaks for itself.
This should have been the end of what the night had to offer me in Weird Shit, but oh no! I wasn't going to get off that lightly, my night was about to get a whole lot more extraterrestrial on my ass. But that is a story that I will continue with tomorrow....
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| PROOF that E.T. is a total dick. If more were needed. |
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